Our small group friends lost everything in a fire today. That terrifies my children. It rather shames me, to consider all that I have and what it would be to lose all this stuff. Loose me of my stuff, Lord!! It constrains me, strangles me, irritates and grumps me - even as I crave more!!
I gave the walls chickenpox, per Peter. I spackled (is it spackeled) every dent and scrape and now the walls are comical. You might say they need to be re-painted, not just touched up. When spilling chocolate milk under the microwave, I found more scraped paint behind. It never ends. And when, oh when, did I think I'd be painting? Spackle, done. Sanding, wiping, painting? ha! Last time's spackle remains - that was at least 2 years ago. Comical.
I feel cynical when I blog. (That is the trend when no kid pics are involved. Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.) Not cynical, but bothered by the disconnect between my earnestness, my cravings for more holiness and my busy-body reality. I know I make a difference, I influence my family and many others - but, ahem, do I tread on holy ground and do they safely tread along behind and beside me.
I was baffled and honored when my business partner today said "I tell people, I met this girl and she has everything I want, so I thought I should copy her". She's talking about me. Good grief, Lord!! Be glorified, puhleeeeeze! Help - someone is blatantly following me - help them, protect them - how I pray that she will copy me straight to You, Jesus!!
Tomorrow between school and lunch appointment and groceries and birthday-party-readiness for Rube and Arbonne party, we hope to uncover all the things in our house that would be better at our fire-friends new place to live. Pray for us. Pray for my children. I need to go to bed so that we are sweet, generous and spirit-filled and not grumpy. Lord, why can't you set the emotional tone for our day instead of me? That is a mystery to me. I don't like having that job.
New daily hymn for morning cuddle time: I need thee every hour. Oh yes.
Hi Julie!
ReplyDeleteI just stumbled over to your blog...haven't been here for awhile but inspired by seeing your sweet R at b'day party today!
I'm just loving your honesty...keep it flowing! Let it out! "...bothered by the disconnect between my earnestness, my cravings for more holiness and my busy-body reality." I feel this everyday and ask myself...why do I keep doing this to myself and my family? What can I do about it?
I for one think you are an AWESOME mom, teacher, sister in Christ and I wish I had more Julie in my life these days...but then, that'd be one more thing on our busy calendars! I miss you at MOPS! But, know that things have to go and we have to do what's best for our families.
We are gathering things here for Poonam and her family. Hoping to rally MOPS women to turn out big time in support of this family!
Hugs!