missing them

Hmmm. Whose idea was it to whisk those kids away to Michigan? Zoo, playground, horse-riding. Goodness. Hope I have as much to show for my week. Ack, it's become Thursday.

teetering, lingering, whiling

Today I will make THE PLAN - yes the homeschooling plan. I've whiled away this hot, bright day, cleaning clutter, spreading out the book piles, searching for remembered things, lingering with my mentors. I am teetering on panic - overwhelm is waving over me! Ah, a familiar feeling. Father, help! I have this whole day - quiet while my children play in Michigan. Daddy at work - only small tasks waiting on me here (small, procrastinated tasks).

Father, help me to rest in you - take this burden of creating order. You, who cast the universe into motion and hold it, swirling, in miraculous order ... help me with my universe. Order my needs, my abundance - make me a list maybe? You know how I love them. Give me something to present to my husband when he returns, hot, tired, shall I say slimy with his hard work.

My heart and mind are in tumult - I claim your perfect peace. No more delays - get to work.

because I wonder aloud

Thank you for these clear words that express me,
"And now, I blog. I love my blog. I love to share the things we do, the thoughts I think. But I do not blog because I think I'm teaching or preaching. I blog because I wonder aloud. Sometimes I wonder at the darkness. Sometimes I wonder at the silliness. Often, I wonder at the joy. That's all it is: one woman's wondering at a life filled with God's abundance. "

fulfill

Is it true? Can I have what I dream of? Can I have balance, order, joy, time. Rest, present with my lover and my sweet ones. Feed them, clean them, hold them. Gift of giving away, handing down, driving to town, money to play, money to grow. Room in this heart and home for more sweet ones. While I revolve my world around Him (my God) and him (my Kevin). Is it possible?

Yes, it is true that it is possible. I believe in it because it is true that it is possible. It truely is possible. With God, all things are possible. Not all things are profitable, but
The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O LORD, endures forever— do not abandon the works of your hands. Psalm 138:8.

What do you do in me, Father? I hear you calling me, Here am I!! Send me, use me, be me. I trust you.

Send me to sleep so I can show up for tomorrow. For your new mercies.

a gentle answer turns away wrath

James 1:20 "the wrath of man does not work the righteousness of God"

hmm.

Proverbs 15:1 "A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger."

That explains why they sometimes act the way they do. My words, thwarting His righteosness, stirring up anger. Argh. Forgive me, 5-yr-old-wonder, forgive me for stirring you up.

Lamentations 3:22-23 The LORD’S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.

thanks to Colleen for this:
The Bible tells us in Lamentations 3:22-24, “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him’.” The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines compassion as sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it. The more familiar quotation of this verse taken from the King James Version of the Bible uses the word mercies instead of compassions. Mercy is defined as a blessing that is an act of divine favor or compassion or compassionate treatment of those in distress. God desires to take away our stress. When we are suffering he treats us gently with love and favor. How fortunate we are to have a loving God who cares so much that every morning he renews his compassion and mercy for us. As night closes in, a new morning filled with hope awaits our waking.

Fishing Early

perfect

Pink Cast - cast-off!!

Sweet Ruby - ready to get her arm set free! This is the sweet smile before the scared tears.

Ta-da!! Delivered! Celebration shoes for a celebration day! Now we're ready to get ready to go to Maine!

not in vain

I've had a hard week - of clear seeing in my business, in my family life, in my household. I see glaring omissions of self-discipline and faithfulness. I see great needs for the mommy-touch in the systems of our home life. I feel awe and angst about the coming responsibilities of fall - angst and great awe and anticipation. I must believe you God.

I choose to believe what is true. The Truth is that your grace is sufficient for me - your power is made perfect in my weakness. You will complete the good work you have begun. You call me to obey. Godly sorrow leads me to repentence.

I praise you that my work is not in vain. You say my prayers are powerful and effective. Find me faithful, Father. I am desperate for your help, your power to wake up, to work effectively, to walk with peace and mercy on my lips.

There's only grace, there's only love, there's only mercy, and believe me, it's enough.

only God and you

In his book Reflecting His Image, KP Yohannan writes, “You see, when it is only God and you, you are more apt to face your pride and your sins. With everyone else we argue these things away and look wonderful and smile. But when we are all alone before God, we face ourselves, and the cleansing and purification will take place. We become less phony the more we are with the Lord.”

One of two pains

Jim Rohn says
We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.

Romans 15:13
Now may God, the source of hope, fill you with all joy and peace as you believe, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Philippians 1:6
being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus

The pain of discipline is what I choose. My godly sorrow, leading to repentence. I will make dinner, I will be the keeper of this house. I will lovingly declare myself, respectfully. I will honor my family by serving them clothes, dinner, stories, time, swimming, sleep. Arbonne will serve us. Summer job will serve us. We will serve Him - the maker of heaven and earth.

Father, I'm craving a dream - a family vision beyond this "argh, we spend more than we make" mire. I feel manic - between pinched and generous, tight and plenty. The lists spin in my head, making me dizzy and immobilized - frozen, not in action. Not in prayer.

Take care then how you hear, for to the one who has, more will be given, and from the one who has not, even what he thinks that he has will be taken away (Luke 8:18)

I'm duly warned. Now action.

Birthday Boy

Big guys greeting the first birthday guests - Peter crafted a flag - "so they'll see me and not run over me!" - it worked! They were so impatiently waiting. Isaac tried swinging, tried helping - finally resolved himself to just grumbling - but turned it to joy when the first minivan pulled in.

Big 5 year old clown debut! He made his foot disappear and wore his red clown nose. His friends giggled and wondered. Aunt Ernie was a big hit. We're so blessed to get this family for our own.