choose courage

Tall one chose to have courage today. I saw him decide. He looked up, searching for me amidst the parents around the pool. Where is that Mom, what will she do? He found my eyes and I tried to send courage through mine to his. I know that I know you can do this! You are my strong, brave boy - you are safe and you can do this! Did my thumb-up make it clear? Did my eyes speak that to him?

I grabbed little fingers poking out of pink cast to say "we need to pray for your brother - he needs help to be brave" and our bowed heads in the hot morning sun tipped together, agreeing that there is courage to be found. Jesus, we need you. Help us to be brave. In cold water and with new teachers. Help! And help those other children to be brave, too.

We squinted to check him - oh! He's out there bravely leaning back in the water! Victory!!

Dripping, with orange goggles pressed into his forehead, I asked him. "You did it! You chose to have courage?!"

"Well, Mom. I didn't want to. But I knew that if I didn't do it then those other kids would have some trouble, too. So I did."

Yes! Victory!!

hold me patiently

Mommy, hold me. Hold me, Mommy. Mommy. Hold me, Mommy.

Hmmm, I think I told her not to whine, to use her real words. She's using them. I feel tired. Flu makes me tired for too many days. I can't hold you, baby, you have to just wait. I say "you have to just wait" a lot. I'm teaching them patience, eh? At least I'm consistent.

"Mommy, I have to potty, I need you to come in a minute," he says. Calling, "I'm done, Mommy, I need you." My distracted, "I'll be right there!" and we repeat the request and calm answer again, maybe again. Then his "Mommy, when you say that I feel like you will never come."

Sweetie, I'll be up in a minute, just one more thing. Almost done here, I'm just wrapping up then I'll be up to bed.


Father, hold me. I don't feel good. My body is tired and my mind's not whirling right. You don't author confusion, not chaos. Will you hold me. Oh, but just wait, I'll be with you in a moment. Present with you, Father, in a moment.

ugh. It is the cry of my heart to be close to you. It is the cry of my heart to follow, all of the days of my life.

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. James 4:8 emphasis mine.

I resolve

I resolve to make a "list for tomorrow" each night. I resolve to always put "dinner" on that list. I resolve to be my husband's wife first. After that I am Mama. And then all those other jobs. Soli Deo Gloria

Honor

Today my husband made me so proud. Of course. He stood and spoke for Father's Day and he used his whole time to honor his own dad and the remarkable foundations laid in his life by his dad. Glory to God. My bigger boy read the words to all the songs and sang along - delighted to recognize the praising "like at our own church!" and the littles gloried in their grandma: gum and cuddles and whispering. I did my best to reflect big RESPECT back to my husband as he spoke. I was so proud to be his today.

pink and waterproof

Casts come in pink, I knew that. But I didn't know waterproof. Praise Him! She wants it off, but at least she can swim. Sweet enduring girl - two weeks late we treat her "buckled" bone.